16 unfortunate laws of nature you did NOT learn in school
- June 23, 2018
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch –and/or you’ll want to pee.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
Law of Observability: The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of whatever you are doing.
Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Law of Procession: If you change checkout lines (or traffic lanes),
the one you just left will start to move faster than the one you
Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water,
the telephone (or doorbell) will ring.
Law of Close Encounters: If you’ve been doing general cleaning and take a
quick trip to the shops for a detergent in the ugly headscarf and torn apron,
you will encounter no less than five people you’d rather meet in some makeup.
Law of the Provability: When you try to prove to a mechanic that a
machine is broken, it will work fine until they leave.
Law of Pediatrics: After spending the entire night up with a coughing kid,
they will not cough for the doctor to determine if it’s dry or wet –until you leave the clinic.
Law of Accessibility: The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest
from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee Thermodynamics: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot
coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until
the coffee is cold.
Law of Carpets: The chances of an open container of jam
landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the
newness, cost and colour of the carpet.
Law of Footwear: If the shoe fits, it will be ugly.
Law of Availability: When you find a product that you really like, the
manufacturer will either change it or go out of business.