10-plus-1 gory medieval punishments that may cure our corrupt forever
- May 30, 2018
- by
- MoreTegs
Angry, mad, livid! That’s the kind of Kenyan I have been for the past month or so. So angry that I feel these people stealing from a population that’s as burdened as us deserves worse than the Sh1 million fine or 10-year max jail term the law subscribes. I don’t know about you, but I...
How Mugechi lost his head, and nearly his penis in the same minute
- May 28, 2018
- by
- MoreTegs
MUGECHI! Elder Makathimo’s giant last born son! That’s him.
Bugger might have been killed by a chicken bone and we might have covered him in a ton of soil a week or so ago, but fellow will forever be alive in the minds, hearts and curses of a certain generation.
His reign of terror ran all through...
Chase by upcountry cop at midnight ends in really strange twist
- May 22, 2018
- by
- MoreTegs
You probably know this already but I will still say it. I am Kirundiro, the first born son of Mwobithania, or KM or Sufferer, and money evades me better than I do my landlord. Perhaps if I had spent more time in the confounded college chewing books than other things, I would be a landlord myself....
Horror at the funeral of Elder Makathimo’s bully son
- May 16, 2018
- by
- MoreTegs
It is hard to believe that Mugechi is dead. Killed by a chicken bone that lodged on his oesophagus tighter than the villagers at the wedding could dislodge. The mighty Mugechi, the terror of our childhood, dispatched by a dead bird. It was an irony beyond belief.
Mugechi is Elder Makathimo’s last born son. Elder Makathimo’s...
Bhangi sio terere PART II: Shaking open Central Police gates for Carol
- April 14, 2018
- by
- MoreTegs
Click for PART I
Yes my friend. Where were we…yeah, why I am in jail.
Bhang! It’s the simple answer. Weed and me don’t get along very well. Makes me do crazy stuff, is what the illegal smoke does.
The last time I smoked weed before last Friday, I crashed into a wedding reception shirtless, convinced the bride...
Maish, Mama Nyokabi, hungry cops and my brown croc briefcase
- April 13, 2018
- by
- MoreTegs
Just the smoky tail of the noisy Kenya Bus is visible beyond the junction. The front half is hidden by the vibandas lining the road. It’s missing the last window pane too. I am fixated by the flapping piece of the polythene covering the hole. Looks like a panicky bird attempting to fly away off...
Bangi sio terere: A judge, an ogre …and boy do they hate Sufferer
- March 28, 2018
- by
- MoreTegs
You must be struggling to read this my friend. Terrible handwriting, I know. But it’s the best I can do under the circumstances. If reading becomes impossible, just smell it. Yep!
Now you have an idea what I’m living through. I’m scribbling it on my knee from the smelly inside of Industrial Area Police cells.
This yellow...
Unraveling the death of Murugi’s marriage after 15 million bob wedding
- March 09, 2018
- by
- MoreTegs
Perhaps you are wondering why a rich guy whose head is beginning to grey is doing seated on a bar stool, in a joint like this, on a day like today and in a weather like this. Well, don’t. But if you can’t help it, look around.
The music is young, the girls younger, but the...
Four months after 15 million bob wedding, couple wants split…what the devil?
- March 02, 2018
- by
- MoreTegs
Murugi married Sylvester four months ago in a wedding ceremony that cost at least 15 million bob. The chef was flown in from Hotel Regina Louvre, one of the finest in Paris. He brought with him vintage wines, including a 150-year-old bottle of Chateau Latife 1865 brand that cost Sh2.5 million.
Décor was done by an...
Kirundiro shocked, ashamed to share league with amateur sinners (Part III of IV)
- February 28, 2018
- by
- MoreTegs
Click for Part I and for Part II
Know what? Stare all you want. I don’t give a rat’s fart. Really, I don’t. Not right now. May be three minutes ago. I might even have delighted your ears with a few x-rated vocabularies. Perhaps I still will.
Right now, my yappers are preoccupied with duties much more...
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