Friends! The overrated, over-hyped burden. Or are they…?
- February 15, 2018
Believe it, Christmas is just 10 months away. Yep! Looking to the front, is what they call it. Most of you think I should make reference to the Christmas that is barely a month gone. I won’t. And that’s because the month in question is longer than the other 11 combined.
But on second thought… what in the world is the festive season? Many say it is a time to reflect on life –money made or lost, number of arrests or close shaves, probability of emerging with an STI from the quick romps on the club parking lot, milestones hit or missed –generally, a stock taking period.
I, however, see it as a time when more memories with people who have been in our lives throughout the year are born than during the rest of 360-something days put together. That leaves little or no time to evaluate if these friendships are true and beneficial to all parties. Perhaps it’s the “too much to eat, too much to drink” chorus of the season.
It was not surprising when Facebook timelines flooded with messages declaring how ‘all fake friends must be cut-off and sent flying to hell’ on New Year. Pastors were not to be outdone, as they prophesied that God will remove all fake friends from our lives. The Amens such posts attracted raised a whirlwind of confusion in my head.
Or a morning after a night of stupid decisions and now you are all panicked because you might have slept with some random person at the club
I know it is normal for humans to want companionship. We are created social beings and friendship brings that unconsciously craved for need to be wanted, liked, loved. History has proven that humans thrived in the past through unity as communities with distinct characters. In this day too, everyone needs a friend to #WCW or #MCM each week on social media. And oh! to tag on all juicy posts in the interwebs?
Beyond the internet, true friends come in handy when the world sits on you with both a$%. It might be illness. Or a landlord camping on your door because your bosses decided to starve your account beyond his strict deadline. Or a morning after a night of stupid decisions and now you are all panicked because you might have slept with some random person at the club –without protection. It is such times that turn a best friend into a wonder woman or superman.
In fact, best friends know secrets even family members will never get a sniff of. On this, social media peeps often say “girl is not allowed to stop being my friend, she knows too much!”
Sometimes, situations demand that you are in Nairobi while in reality, you are floating picking rocks on the moon. Tell me, how do you manage such magic without a bestie?
While regular friends, who are as common as dust, are not obligated to invest much in the relationship, a best friend has to give back as much as they are getting.
Then we have that friend that never makes you feel like an outsider. Their entire fortune may not be worth Chris Kirubi’s pair of shoe yet they will not leave you when out to grab that ice cream or Sh50 fresh juice.
Still, finding that best friend is mighty tough. That’s because while regular friends, who are as common as dust, are not obligated to invest much in the relationship, a best friend has to give back as much as they are getting.
Somebody recently told me fake friends may not exist. You only assumed the other felt as you did in the friendship while you were just a colleague, classmate or hood mate to them. You invested too much in the friendship until you realise the input was one-way. You naturally felt bitter and shortchanged. Just as in business, be cautious when investing in friendships.
At the same time, you may be the bad friend in the equation. Let’s be realistic in our expectations of others no matter how much we think we know them. If I can’t take that trip with you, take time to know why. I could be broke or committed in other ways. Don’t let your ego and desire to always call the shots make you lose valuable and genuine friends, then you will label the universe as fake. To true and lasting friendships in 2018!
By Eunice Karimi
Karimi is a sub-editor at a local newspaper