16 unfortunate laws of nature you did NOT learn in school

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease,

your nose will begin to itch –and/or you’ll want to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least

accessible corner.

Law of Observability: The probability of being watched is directly

proportional to the stupidity of whatever you are doing.

Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy

signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because

you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Law of Procession: If you change checkout lines (or traffic lanes),

the one you just left will start to move faster than the one you

switched to.

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water,

the telephone (or doorbell) will ring.

Law of Close Encounters: If you’ve been doing general cleaning and take a

quick trip to the shops for a detergent in the ugly headscarf and torn apron,

you will encounter no less than five people you’d rather meet in some makeup.

Law of the Provability: When you try to prove to a mechanic that a

machine is broken, it will work fine until they leave.

Law of Pediatrics: After spending the entire night up with a coughing kid,

they will not cough for the doctor to determine if it’s dry or wet –until you leave the clinic.

Law of Accessibility: The severity of the itch is inversely

proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest

from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee Thermodynamics: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot

coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until

the coffee is cold.

Law of Carpets: The chances of an open container of jam

landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the

newness, cost and colour of the carpet.

Law of Footwear: If the shoe fits, it will be ugly.

Law of Availability: When you find a product that you really like, the

manufacturer will either change it or go out of business.